Keeping Our Kids

How Can We Raise Children Who Won't Walk Away from Their Faith?

By Tony Young

Raising children is a huge blessing for sure, but let’s not forget it can be a really tough job! I’m sure it’s normal that previous generations feel like theirs was the most difficult in history to raise kids. However, I would submit that our culture today is truly THE toughest environment for raising kids and will only get more difficult with the continuing advance of technology and communications.

While monitoring your child’s use of gaming devices, YouTube watching , Snap Chat sending , and Instagram posting, you also need to connect with them in a relevant and challenging way that engages them to learn and grow to be the young people God wants them to be. My wife, Patty, and I are certainly no experts, but we do think that one of the keys to raising kids to walk with the Lord and embrace their faith is authenticity.

Our children are exposed to more information than ever before in history. This, along with normal family dynamics, makes them more able than ever to discern when their parents are not really living out their own faith. They recognize hypocrisy.

MORE JESUS, LESS RELIGION

When talking about children who have walked away from their faith after leaving home, I’ve heard one parent say that they realized that they raised their daughter in church but they didn’t raise her in Jesus. In other words, they were more focused on talking about religious rules—meeting other people’s expectations or having the right appearances on the outside—than they were on investing in what was going on in the inside, in their child’s heart.

In my opinion, one of the most dangerous things we can do as parents is to give our children a little bit of Jesus and a whole lot of rules and religion. By doing this, we emphasize good behavior over a genuine relationship with Christ.

In Matthew 15, Jesus addressed the Pharisees who were more concerned with the outward appearance than the inner heart. He agreed with Isaiah, who had prophesied, "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are merely human rules.” (Matthew 15:8-9 NIV)

As parents we must be careful not to be guilty of this. We should be authentic in our own faith and raise our kids with a whole lot of Jesus and not worry as much about the rules of religion. As they draw into Jesus, the Holy Spirit will naturally direct their hearts and adjust their steps. But if we focus on the rules rather than on Christ, they will know that path is empty and disappointing, and they will abandon it the moment it becomes too cumbersome.

LIVE AUTHENTICALLY

I think one way to do this is to be sure you don’t compartmentalize your faith. I encourage parents to be the same person on Monday that they are on Sunday. My wife and I have always tried to blend our family’s everyday life with our focus on Jesus. In everything we do, whether it is work, school, or chores around the house, we try to focus on why we do those things. It always comes back to our fundamental relationship with Jesus and His calling on our lives—not because a religion, or school, or boss tells us we are supposed to do something.

Solomon advised parents to "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6 NIV) The way a child should go is toward Jesus and begins with Him. Focus on what He has done for them and what His calling is for their lives, and train them on the truths that Scripture teaches in these areas. I believe you will then be more likely to raise children who own their faith and have an authentic walk with Him throughout their lives.