Redefining Family
Since long before you were born, God has been in the business of family building. That’s His specialty. And whether you know much about God's family or feel like you're part of it, it's real—and it continues to be His greatest project in the history of the world.
Way back near the beginning of the Bible, God took a broken home and promised to use that household to bless the entire world (Genesis 12:1-3). Since then, the earth, the seas, and everything in them has been waiting for God’s family to be complete: “For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.” (Romans 8:19 NIV®) The whole Bible is about the family of God being brought together for the glory of His name.
But what does that mean for our individual families today? All of us are part of a family in some respect, whether it’s the typical mom-and-dad dynamic or something a bit more unique. Whatever your family looks like, you’re part of the plan put together by our Heavenly Father, "from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name." (Ephesians 3:15 NIV®)
Traditionally Nontraditional
God doesn’t follow the rules when He puts His family together. These days, we talk a lot about traditional and nontraditional families, but God doesn’t really bother with those categories.
The truth is, we don’t enter into God’s family through normal, regular, or traditional pathways. We’re adopted into His family when we’re reconciled through His Son (Ephesians 1:5). We’re grafted into the vine of His people by faith, receiving all the promises given to Abraham’s children whether we’re Israeli or Australian or Namibian or American (Romans 11:17). Once we were strangers and aliens before God, but by His grace we're made “...fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household...” (Ephesians 2:19 NIV®)
Our families are intended by God to be a living parable of His adopted, engrafted, redeemed people. That’s why marriage is such a cornerstone in Christ-centered families—the inseparable bond of husband and wife lives out the story of Jesus’ indestructible love for His bride, the church. (Ephesians 5:21-33) But in this broken world, even on our best days our families are only capable of imperfectly living out God's love. Mom and Dad don't always get along. Sometimes we don't have both parents in the picture. But in every situation, God shows us how we can put His family-building grace on full display.
Maybe you’re part of a blended family that’s grown out of a divorce or the loss of a relative. Or maybe you’re a single parent pressing on in the wake of tragedy or abandonment. Just as Naomi welcomed Ruth into her household after the death of Naomi’s sons and Ruth’s husband (Ruth 1:16-18), God opens doors for our own families to be living narratives of grace when circumstances don't fit neatly together or go as planned. For God, sometimes the messiness is central to the plan itself. Because Ruth stayed with Naomi, she met Boaz and went on to be the great-grandmother of King David. This woman, a transplant from Moab, was instrumental to God's purpose of bringing about the lineage of Jesus Himself!
From Dust to Diamonds
Like a portrait spanning several generations, a family tree is worth a thousand words, and Jesus' genealogy in Matthew 1 speaks volumes about God's heart for family building. If we were God, we probably would've filled the Messiah's pedigree with a great procession of heroic figures and honorable names. But what we see in the opening chapter of the New Testament reads more like a patchwork of disappointment and even shame. The names that make this list are shocking; some are downright scandalous.
Aside from Ruth, a no-name outsider to the tribes of Israel, we run into the harlots Tamar and Rahab. To think that the King of kings would not only allow prostitutes into Jesus' family tree, but would gladly put them on full display! Even the biggest names on the list carry blemishes of their own. We see Jacob the deceiver and Judah the whoremonger. There’s David the adulterer and Solomon the nymphomaniac. And Manasseh? He was one of the worst, most idolatrous kings in Jerusalem’s history!
Jesus' family tree is really messy, and God made sure to let it all hang out for readers to see. Because His plan isn't limited by our brokenness and our scars. It's in the chips and cracks of our families that God highlights His ability to turn dust into diamonds. In His hands, no person and no family is irredeemable. God brings broken people together to build His unbreakable family, the church, and the only thing holding it all together is His mercy. We can throw any ideas of pride or boasting out the window.
Mirrors of Grace
Think about that: your family exists for the glory of God, messiness and all. Even when your marriage is struggling, even if you feel all alone and it feels like it's falling apart, it's here where God's transformative grace most stunningly shines. No family is too broken or incomplete to find new hope in Christ. No need is too great, no trial insurmountable. He's building up His family; you can rest in His promises as a done deal.
And our families aren’t just receivers of God's grace; He also uses them as vessels to pour it out. It's here that nontraditional families sometimes glow the brightest.
For instance: when you, as a married couple or a single adult, choose to adopt domestically or internationally, you become a living expression of God's grace in adopting sinners who would otherwise have no claim to His inheritance. If you're a grandparent, aunt, or uncle who has welcomed young relatives into your home when their birth parent is unable to care for them, you're dramatizing the reality of Christ as your kinsman-redeemer.
You can show the world what Jesus does with His people the church— build a family out of strangers, even enemies, proving that no dividing wall or ethnic barrier is too high for the cross of Christ to break down. You can prove there's room at Jesus' table for everyone, no matter our flaws, our past, or our upbringing.
Our little families are designed to be mirrors of grace, pointed heavenward to the God who builds His family out of nothing and gives them His whole inheritance—namely, everything (Romans 8:32). When we define our families not by our struggles and weaknesses but by the perfecting power of Christ, nothing can stop God's family from being a blessing to the world.